The Template

Replace anything in [square brackets]. Delete anything in {curly braces} before sending.

Friends Only Update - [Month + Year]

Why You’re Getting This: This is my friends-only update, a private space where I share what’s really going on in my life. If you’re reading this, I consider you a dear friend. Thank you for being part of my life.

If you have a moment, I’d love a reply and an update from you too.

And if you don’t want these messages in the future, you can unsubscribe [add a link] anonymously (I won’t check).

{Sending from your personal inbox? Swap the link for: “Just reply and I’ll quietly take you off.”}

In this update: (tl;dr)

• [Business: What’s going on in my work and what I’m learning]

• [Personal: Where I’m really at, the highs and the hard parts]

• [Family: What’s happening with the people I love]

• [My Current Focus: What I’m going after next]

• [An Ask: One specific way you could help]

——

1. Business

{Give your friends the view an investor would get: what your work looks like from the inside right now, not the highlight reel.

Share something meaningful you’ve learned since your last update, or one thing that’s working, one thing that isn’t, and where you’re heading as a result. Include the numbers if you’re comfortable. The more transparent you are, the more invested people become. If there’s a problem you can’t crack, save it for your ask below.}

——

2. Personal

{How are you... really? Share what’s lighting you up and what’s weighing on you. What doubts or uncertainties are you carrying that most people wouldn’t guess? Let down the mask. You’ll be surprised how many friends can relate, and once they know what you’re going through, they can love and support you.}

——

3. Family

{Who in your life deserves a little spotlight? Maybe your kid hit a milestone, your partner launched something, or a friend did something you’re especially grateful for.}

——

My Current Focus

{What are your top one to three priorities for the next few months? Be specific. “Grow the business” isn’t a goal. “Hit $1M by December” is. Naming your goals out loud invites your friends to help you get there and hold you accountable along the way.}

——

An Ask

{Most of us would rather give help than ask for it. But when you ask, you give your friends a chance to show up for you, and people love to help someone who’s putting in the work. Include one ask. Make it clear and compelling. For more on asking well, see Chapter 14.}

——

Wrapping Up

Thanks for reading all the way down.

No pressure or expectations of a reply, but if you have a minute, I’d love to hear from you. A brief update of your own or a quick hello is perfect.

And of course, if there’s anything I can do to support you, just say the word!

Until next time,

[Your name]

{Optional} P.S. Rather listen than read? Here’s a quick video version: [link]

Before You Hit Send

• Start small. Use all three updates or just one. Short and honest beats long and polished.
  

• Start with 10. Done is better than perfect. Pick 10 people who pass both questions.
  

• Choose how you send.

  • From your personal inbox: Use BCC or a mail merge so addresses stay private and it lands like a note from a friend. Best when your list is small and you want every reply in your inbox.

  • From an email tool: Platforms like Kit or Mailchimp make it easy to manage a growing list and include an anonymous unsubscribe link. Keep the design plain so it still reads like a personal note, not a newsletter.
    

• Respect their stories. Use your judgement. Before sharing about a partner, kid, or friend, make sure they would be comfortable with it.
  

• Keep a running list. When you meet someone who passes the two questions, add them to a simple spreadsheet so your next update is ready to go.
  

• Reply to every reply. That’s where the relationship actually happens.